maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
