dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
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