So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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