if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Randomize
