Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
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boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
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Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
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