You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
