if i can run in heels then i can drive
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
