Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize
