I cockslap morals
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
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