Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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