She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
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