i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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