but the lizard people decide everything anyway
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Randomize
