Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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