Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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