I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
