That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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