her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Randomize
