Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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