Porn is love you can see.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
