And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
