i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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