Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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