A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
