I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
