He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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