You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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