we have officially lost it.
you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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