Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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