Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
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