brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
Randomize