Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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