Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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