Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
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