Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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