you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
