I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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