a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
