u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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