why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
