You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Its about making memories worth repressing
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
