Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
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