He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
