my being single is dangerous.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
