38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
