We won't sleep together?
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
