i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
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