.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
