I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
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