I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Randomize
