last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
