we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
