My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize