Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
