she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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