dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
