is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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