I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
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