Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
