so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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