her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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