I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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