he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
