so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
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