My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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